Thursday, December 22, 2005 @ 4:21 AM
i had been reflecting and i realized i did not do my holiday homework at all. and i thought- "i'll do them later."
when?
then i continued thinking. my holidays' almost over, and i had not done any homework. oh my, how busy i had been. but can't blame it- the harvest is here. got to put studies aside.
hmm.
i reflected about it and i thought of the promises i made with myself. i will satrt studying for o levels when december comes. but i haven't. why? 'cause the harvest is here. i will start doing bio essay. but i haven't. why? 'cause the harvest is here.
"the harvest is here."
that was an excuse. the real reason was-
laziness.
i repented to God. i was so sorry for being lazy. i knew laziness was not right in the Kingdom of God, and this is probably one reason why i have not been growing much either. laziness. i was too lazy to do things that i've planned or things i was supposed to do and i keep giving excuses like- the harvest is here.
i'm so ashamed by myself.
i repented and i told God i was sorry. i knew how much God hated laziness in man, and yet i chose to be lazy. that was why i wasn't growing. everything was okay, was fine, great- but laziness caused everything to go way down. excuses came along. and im ashamed.
i can't overcome this area by my own human strength. so many times had the pastors warned us about not being lazy- yet i am. so many times i've read about not being lazy- yet i am. so many times i knew i should not be lazy- yet i am. i feel shameful of myself. unworthy.
but God still loves me. He hates the laziness, but He loves ME.
and for that God, i know i'll change- with You by my side.
yet, and again, i'm amazed by His love.